In an hour of madness- PART I

I’ve read that, in all our lives, there is a certain ‘hour of madness’- an unguarded moment when we let our thoughts run wild in spite of ourselves. Our highest ideals, values and fiercest mottoes crumble when drawn into such moments. Our thoughts stray somewhere into the lands where we would never have trespassed when ‘sane’. Nevertheless, we experience an exhilarating sense of freedom in those moments. These moments visit us (well…in most instances) in the waning afternoons when we stretch ourselves comfortably post-lunch. A kind of tranquility pervades the soul, making it rather lazy and incoherent. The soul is lazier than the body during those moments. On one hand, we are conscious of the amusements our physical state enjoys, but on the other hand, we are unconsciously aware of the enjoyment our soul revels in and craves for all the same- in fact the soul becomes too greedy for it when repressed. They are more important than the concrete things of amusement. Mad thoughts are a vent for a soul in ecstasy.

Many times, I surprise myself with such thoughts. My mind becomes ‘peopled’ with daft and scandalous things. Nevertheless, I become secretly delighted at the power of human mind. Thoughts cannot be stopped even if you shut your mouth. There lies the power. I feel sorry for the teachers who frequently order about their pupils to ‘put a finger on your lips’. Though they are successful in maintaining order, their minds will probably cringe, if they come to know of the shocking things thought up by the children.

Here are a few hand-picked, censored bits of my moments in the hours of madness.

Why wasn’t I born in Egypt thousands of years ago? I’d been the proud mistress of a Pharaoh or even better, a Queen and would have ruled the men-clan with my little finger. Talk of subjugating men! Then there would have been men’s lib movements.

Wish I had spanked my PT teacher (then and there at school). She used to regard me with utmost loathing everyday as I was never keen about outdoor games when I was a little girl.

What if I were to speak my thoughts exactly as they pop in my mind? I’d probably be surrounded with enemies if I do that! Why aren’t all of us endowed with that sort of liberty?

Why did I have to study? Sometimes too much information enslaves you. Wish I were a ‘clever’ illiterate - a rustic belle tending my one dozen children! As a matter of fact, ignorance is, most of the time, bliss! What if I quit everything I do presently and run away to Timbuktu? I have always envied aboriginal people ever since I read about the kodagu and Masai tribes in one of the glossy in-flight magazines.

More madness later!